So blessed

Big news:  We had a baby!

Here's the story...

On May 15, I laid down to take a nap (making babies is exhausting).  Five minutes after laying down my water broke.  AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!  I was only 28 1/2 weeks along in the pregnancy so this was a very big deal.  Yes, I cried.

Chris took me to the Woman's Center where they confirmed that my water broke and let me know that I was going to be held captive in the hospital until I delivered.  I cried again.

There are a lot of things they do to you when your water breaks at 28 weeks gestation.  One of the first is that they shoot a steroid into your Gluteous Maximus muscle (ouch) to help the infant's lungs develop faster.  After that shot I was transferred by ambulance to UMC were there is an awesome NICU.

At UMC they started me on an IV with magnesium sulfide.  This is nasty stuff.  It has multiple purposes.  In my case it was to help the neurological development of the infant.  Did I mention how awful it is?  It makes you hot--really hot. And after a few hours it burns and stings in your arm where it enters your blood stream.  But it's totally worth it if it helps the baby...

They had me on antibiotics and gave me another steroid shot.  Everyone kept telling me the odds of delivering sooner than later.  I enjoyed zero sleep that first night.

Day two was better.  As was every day after that.  The longer I stayed in the hospital the longer the baby stayed in my uterus.  (smiley face)

I was moved form the L&D ward to the recovery ward after the first 48 hours.  My children came to visit me when they could.  I had a visitor everyday, either friend or family, and that really helped keep my spirits up.  And a week into my stay at the hospital I was allowed to go outside if taken out there on a wheel chair!

Then on May 25th I went into labor.  It's interesting going into labor after your water is broken.  You feel so much more once your membrane has ruptured.  I felt the beginning of labor that you don't usually feel (feels like cramps) hours before actual contractions began.

I didn't feel like myself during this delivery.  I found out later that there was an infection so I can blame my moodiness on that.  I was definitely out of sorts and grumpy and determined not to cry (I did cry, but thankfully the epidural did the trick and made me a giggly mess instead of a crying mess).

Then on May 26th when I was exactly 30 weeks gestation, I delivered a miracle.

Ephraim Parry Williams was born weighing 3 lbs 8 oz. 

When you deliver that early it is a big deal.  There were  dozens of doctors and residents and nurses in my delivery room.  And I'm pretty sure none of them were in there for me.  They let me hold him for mere seconds then whisked him away in an incubator to the NICU.

Can I just tell you how hard that was?!

  

Delivering a three and a half pound baby is actually really easy on your body (compared to the nine plus pounds I usually deliver) but harder on your heart.  All I wanted to do was hold my baby and I couldn't.  He needed to stay in the incubator to keep warm.  And he needed to sleep so he could grow.  This meant I could only hold him at certain times and for a limited amount of time.  Plus, he had a tendency to have high billiruben counts and had to stay under "the lights" for days on end.  When he was under the lights I could only hold him for thirty minutes in a 24 hour span.  (I learned later that his high billiruben had something to do with my blood attacking his blood etc.)

  

Pumping.  Pumping is what you do when you want to nurse a baby in the NICU.  Initially the milk you pump is given to the baby through an NG tube (through their nose) and eventually it is given via bottle.  When Ephraim was ready (at 36 weeks extended --or--6 weeks old) I started nursing him myself.  However I have three children at home and could not live in the NICU with him so I could only be there to nurse him (at specific times set by the nurses) twice a day (Thank you to all who watched my kids so I could do that!)

  

You've heard of Mother's guilt, right?  Here's how it worked for me:  If I'm at home I feel guilty that I'm not in the hospital with Ephraim.  If I'm in the NICU with Ephraim I feel guilty that I'm not at home with my other children.  There was no winning this battle.

 

My children did get to come see Ephraim.

 

 They loved visiting him.

 

 But it is really difficult keeping three young children quiet and still for any length of time .

 

 On July 12th I was able to take my baby boy home.  He was 5 lbs 10 oz.

The baby I took home was a preemie.  He didn't "wake up" and become a newborn until his due date of August 4th.  Preemies sleep more than newborns (and newborns sleep a lot).  Preemies don't make eye contact--in fact they avoid eyes and faces and prefer to look at ceilings.  Then one day you notice he is looking at you!  And then you notice he's awake longer than usual.  And you know you have a newborn now. 

 

Ephraim is three months old now.  He is starting to let me go longer than two hours between feedings (hallelujah) and last night he let me sleep for six (!) hours.

There have been so many mile stones to celebrate.  Here are a few:

*Making it the first 24 hrs after my water broke without delivering.

*My first kangaroo time with Ephraim (skin to skin holding).

*Ephraim graduating from an incubator to an open crib in the NICU.

*Nursing him for the first time.
*Taking him home.
*Proving through weight checks at the doctor's office that nursing is enough and I don't need to supplement.
*Ephraim growing too big for preemie clothes and fitting newborn clothes.
*Watching my preemie roll over at two and a half months.
*Seeing how much Ephraim's older siblings love him.